THIS MORNING IN MY PRAYER DEVOTION,( WHISPERS OF HOPE, BY BETH MOORE) I WAS HURRYING THROUGH THE READING (BECAUSE I HAD TO GET READY FOR CHURCH) AND IN MY HURRYING (BECAUSE I HAD TO GET READY FOR CHURCH) I JUST CAN'T TELL YOU THE DOUBTS THAT SPRUNG UP!!!! LET ME JUST SAY, THE THEME OF THE STUDY WAS 2 COR.. 13:5 "EXAMINE YOURSELVES TO SEE WHETHER YOUR ARE IN THE FAITH, TEST YOURSELVES." NOW I COME FROM A LONG, LONG HISTORY OF LOW SELF ESTEEM ACCOMPANIED WITH A PEOPLE PLEASING MENTALITY. I WANT THE WORLD TO LOVE ME!!!! I WANT TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY AND KEEP THEM HAPPY!!!! AND OF COURSE, MORE THAN ANYTHING, I WANT GOD TO LOVE ME AND I WANT TO MAKE HIM HAPPY AND KEEP HIM HAPPY. NONE OF THIS OF COURSE HEALTHY, ALL OF IT UNDERSTANDABLE CONSIDERING......... SO IN MY HURRY (BECAUSE I HAD TO GET READY FOR CHURCH) I AM GIVEN SEVERAL WAYS TO TEST MYSELF TO SEE IF I AM, "IN THE FAITH". 1. CONVICTION OF SIN 2. A WAR WITH OUR OLD NATURE 3.A STRANGE SENSE OF PEACE 4. AN ALIEN ABILITY TO RESPOND LIKE CHRIST. I WAS TOTALLY CONVICTED!!!!!!!!!!! I FLUNKED. I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET HOME FROM CHURCH TO DIG INTO THIS STUDY. AM I REALLY SORRY FOR SIN? TO THE POINT OF KNOWING MY SIN PERSONALLY OFFENDS GOD? IS MY NEW NATURE FIGHTING WITH THE OLD? DO I HAVE A STRANGE SENSE OF PEACE? UHHHHHH DO I HAVE AN ALIEN ABILITY TO RESPOND LIKE CHRIST OR AM I JUST AN ALIEN? BELIEVERS BIBLE COMMENTARY BY WILLIAM MACDONALD SAYS FOR 2COR. 13:5 "AS TIME GOES ON, WE DO FIND OTHER EVIDENCES OF NEW LIFE, A NEW LOVE OF HOLINESS, A NEW HATRED OF SIN, A LOVE OF THE BRETHREN, PRACTICAL RIGHTEOUSNESS AND SEPARATION FROM THE WORLD". LORD HELP ME, I'M LEARNING!!! AND DESPERATELY TRYING!!!
MORAL OF THE STORY......IF I HAD TAKEN MY TIME, GOTTEN READY FOR CHURCH EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY, PREPARED MYSELF FOR WORSHIP, NOT HURRIED THROUGH MY DEVOTION, NOT BEEN PREOCCUPIED WITH SELF IN CHURCH, I MIGHT HAVE SEEN THE ONE KEY SENTENCE IN THE STUDY......."BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN CALLED TO LIVES OF FAITH, SATAN SEIZES EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO SOW DOUBT".